Listen, my words I cannot say

Everyday I try to shove them down

But the truth is I can’t forget what was,

Everyday I try to forget 

The next day it’s a little better

On the bad days where I can feel I pretend what happened never did 

I call those bad memories the sin

To myself, I say to just forget about it

The sting of memory

These memories are flashbacks of my worst decision

I stand in school everyday

I see you and I go the other way

while I’m there I see other people and just walk

Also, I’ve decided to not be afraid of anything

Now I always say to myself to never have relationships with another soul ever again

 I think my problem is I run away from everything 

I think so

My feelings have been keeping me away from society

I always ask where the hell it came from 

Or what is wrong with me

My feelings are me, the come all the time I hate them

But I won’t let them control me 

I am the host with these killing parasites

I can’t even talk to people with all these lingering disgusting feelings

Sure I push ‘‘em down but they won’t ever leave me

I come up with ideas to try and get rid of ‘em but Idk 

Every single time these dumb feelings are always meddling in my brain

These feelings cause make me hate myself

Be mad at myself, 

I can’t believe I let this happen

I wish I never met you

When I was with you 

You poisoned me 

When I was with you

Everything was bland 

So I ran away 

When I was with you 

I had no  words

So I left 

I ran 

No words

Just gone 

I don’t think you need them anyway, 

I learned a lot of things

Without you, 

I learned how to 

To play an instrument 

To become closer with my religion 

To be with my family

Without you

  I found my best friend.

Without you 

I am pursuing my purpose.

Without you

I can love.

Without you

I have changed .

Without you 

I am who I was made to be. 

Without you

I AM  ME.