words racing in my head. clouds cloudier than ever. thoughts i promised my young-self i’d never have, popping up. it feels empty. my heart as dark as the night. my love smaller than a cell. my anxiety as high as the multiverse. i feel stuck in a hole, so stuck that every rock i grab, falls. every person i love either leaving or falling in the same hole. taking everyone with me, as i feel the guilt and shame running through my veins. trying to save myself from suffocating in the dirt and rocks falling on me. i seem to be dead inside. the rocks have filled my heart, the dirt coursing through my veins. everything hurts as i fall further into the hole. no love, no feeling, not caring, no light. i have fallen in this hole and there’s no getting out.