To My Twin Sister:

I envy you.

Your confidence, your ease,

The way you pull people towards you without a second thought

Like the magnet pinning down a drawing we made at 8.

Your curled hair laying just right in the mornings,

Not even frizzing in the humid air of disdain that you exude

When looking at Panera mac and cheese or those awful silly bands I know you hate.

And you’re perfect.

Your picture perfect boyfriend and your perfectly particular outfits you lay out each night;

They stare me in the face and I stare back past my dark bedroom ceiling each evening,

Wishing for a girlfriend and maybe a sense of style.

My grades are fine but yours are better, cartoonishly so.

It’s frustrating but what can I do?

And the fact I see you everywhere, too.

Among my friends, my room, my mirror.

“My, my, my-” it all comes back to me doesn’t it?

I’m noteworthy in the way I stick out like a sore thumb next to you,

In the way you blaze through life and I’m a flickering spark fading after a split second,

In the way you’re sweet like strawberries and I’m just bitter enough that there’s an aftertaste.

But people always tell me to think positively,

“Look on the bright side and build self confidence!”

How can I do that when you’re everywhere where you shouldn’t be?

You hang over me like a ten ton weight,

Or the pit in my stomach that never leaves.

I can’t meet your gaze because I’m afraid of who will look back.

And the thing is that I love you!

I love you as a sister and I love you as I love myself.

You’ve lived this life along with mine and that’s not changing.

At the end of the day, we’re sisters and strangers that rhyme,

Unlike my poems and akin to yours instead.

And when I do meet your gaze, in those rare spaces between time,

It’s through the glimmering glass of my bathroom mirror.