My father does not tell me he loves me.

He does not hug me every morning or every night. He does not let me stay out at night.

Instead, he quietly makes every meal for me. Cuts fruit, brings it to my room. Checks in at night to make sure I’m asleep, recites a religious prayer for my safety. Asks me to sleep with him, and he will press his fingers into my aching muscles.

He doesn't apologize. Never admitted he was wrong. I’ve never seen him cry with my own two eyes.

Today he said that he doesn’t know how to raise kids.

What I think, is that my father doesn’t know how to say he cares. Instead, he says he will leave his work early so I don’t have to walk in cold weather.

I am desperate for love from a man that was never taught to show it.