i’m tired

it’s a cold, rainy day in november and i try to lay my head down for what feels like the 20th time today

i’m tired

so i try to shut my eyes and take a nap, one that will cure the bags under my eyes and make me feel whole again

i’m tired

of hearing that same answer every time i try and i can’t

“lay your head down and rest and you’ll feel better soon”

i’m tired...

but it’s not that type of tired

i’m so tired

it’s a deep seeded tiredness i can feel down to my core that drags me down

it’s a tired that drains your hope and peels away your ambitions 

a tired that takes your happiness, but doesn’t make you sad

a tired that leaves you feeling empty and numb

cold, hard tired

that makes you feel all alone

...i’m tired

i think i have been for a while now

tears drip down my face but i can’t feel them my hands shake in the cold

“what’s wrong?” she asks

i’m... just tired

she gives me a cup of tea and i lay down my head for the 21st time on that cold, rainy afternoon

i rest my eyes and hope that this makes me feel better, for a moment at least

the rain echoes in my head, cold and numb

the skies’ tears pour down

i think the heavens are tired, too