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Dive-Bar Omniscience
In solitude, I am swallowed by a host of Nebraska rattlers
so that I am carried through vast and lonely earth
stabbing desperately at evil flesh
and dreaming of hot coals in homesteads
In divine company I am the wind,
Chicago blusters breathing harsh life into
the wise,
the poor,
the cold.
In parlors, I am the brass spittoon
and in my lungs I hold the unique obsoletion of the
sputtering American phonograph
juggling need and no-longer-need
In seams and stitches, I am holy and sick
I am coughing Irish Boston work-girls
I am beautiful twirling silk mid-tango
in love and crying, homeless and alive
In love I am man, I am woman, I am God
I feel ecstasy, sex, chafing of hot linen
I hear words of anger, reconciliation, contentment
New Orleans ferry lanterns tell me to dance with the coal shovel
In America I hear bop,
vulgar saxophone blown for the deaf and blind
I hear beggars crying, robbed blind by drugged fantasies
I hear the voice of reason spoiled and obscured
by hecklers and robber-barons
In the mountains I embrace the sky as my sister
And hot sticky syrup binds generations through
New England’s rattling old-man’s winter breath
and I love the trees as I cut them
and I love the trees as I hug them
In folklore, passed down by word of mouth
I implore the madman into preaching
I dissuade the cynic from murder of truth
I sweep away contradictions in the name of ecstasy
I sit in solitude,
I talk to God,
I have class,
I am beauty,
I am in love,
I hear the train whistle all the way down the river,
I fell trees, I love trees,
I am known on docks and in warm-lit alleys
I am man, I am woman, I am Human,
I am whole.
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I wrote this piece when I felt a disconnect between the radical movements and intense beauty of the past / what could be, and the way that I saw humans interacting with each other. I wanted to express important parts of myself using that ecstatic beauty of the past - my queer identity and passion for poetry (references to the beat generation), my growing up and trying to shove change through the cold snow in New England, and the places I've never been but which represent to me certain areas of passion. I wrote with the intent of giving the reader the ability to see themselves as the speaker - the ability to open themselves beyond their experience in order to describe the immense love and pain inside of them.