raise your voice for me, please.

the dreaded request

threaten the words that were already 

struggling to get out

to be swallowed back down

my throat. i push on

it’s no big deal,

picture everyone naked -- but

my voice feels too choked.

too nasally.

definitely not pleasant for the audience to hear.

i still can’t hear you, dear

i purse my lips into a smile

acknowledging their complaint

but not really understanding. my voice,

it sounds plenty loud to me

in fact, it’s way too loud

for this pin-silent room

all waiting to hear me

tremble and fall.

i am all too aware of

my smile wavering

the burn in my eyes

thirty more seconds

but of what?

i despair as i find that the lines that i drilled

for weeks prior have vanished from my mind

there is simply nothing there

why now?

my voice trembles

and squeaks

and crashes

as my mind simply goes blank.