Fighting to be Feminine | Teen Ink

Fighting to be Feminine

July 5, 2022
By RubyDhalia BRONZE, Chicago, Illinois
RubyDhalia BRONZE, Chicago, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

If we wear crop tops and skirts

Shorts that show our hips and dresses revealing our thighs 

And painting our faces with makeup and vibrant pigments

Then we are fake

We are trying too hard

And how will boys ever like us?


If we wear sweatpants and oversized shirts 

Hats stamped with logos highlighting who we support

And never cover our redness or blotchy skin

Then we are flawed

We are not trying hard enough

And how will boys ever like us?


If we like k-pop, boy bands, and cheesy romance songs

We are stereotypical and young

Another basic teen in a sea of copy-paste girls


If we like old music, alternative, and deep songs that twist our hearts

We're pick me's and trying to be different

Trying to separate ourselves from the rest 


If we like girls we get mocked

Have to deal with the fun concept of homophobia

And how it is a constant part of our life 


If we like boys we get teased

Because either he's too good for us

Or we’re obsessive over them 

Trying to impress them


If we like everyone we get judged 

For being greedy

And we’re just confused


But if we don't like anyone

There's something wrong with us

And we haven't met the right person


So tell me what to like 

Who to have a crush on

Please, tell me how to appease you

Tell me how to look

What music to listen to 

How should I talk?

Can you not tell me?

Funny,

You seemed to be all about telling me

What to do before


We can never be good enough for social acceptance

It will slip away from our fingers the second we stop gripping tight

So at some point, you have to learn to be good enough for yourself


The author's comments:

I wrote this poem from the experience of me and my friends. Growing up as a girl opens you up to constant, and often times contradicting, ideas about how you should live your life. It's so hard to be constantly fighting with yourself about how you wish to be perceived and how you "should" be perceived, as well as which one would make it easier for you to gain the basic amount of human decency and respect from the world. Constantly you are either sexualized or mocked for not being attractive enough as if being attractive is your only worth. The day I started writing this was the day I overheard a classmate making fun of my friend for liking k-pop and being "stereotypical" for her age, a boy watching a tik-tok about how feminists hate men and had to explain that homophobia still very much exists and that I had experienced it. I'm tired of people complaining about the way I exist.


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