It is when your eyes find me that I am most vulnerable,

It is in that moment that I can no longer breathe,

That my heart hammers in my chest,

Threatening to break free,

Threatening to melt away into nothing but a pile of goop. 

I feel as your eyes find me,

And mine flick to meet yours,

Yours a stark forest green,

And mine nothing but dull brown.

Red creeps into my cheeks,

And you smile,

With those adorable dimples,

But this is a smile reserved for friends.

Because that is all that we are.

All that we will ever be.

Our eyes part and I think I hate that word,

Friends.

Because it means that I will never fall asleep in your arms,

Or hold your hand,

Or hear you call me beautiful,

Or feel you wipe the tears off my cheeks when I’m sad,

Or catch you looking at me like I’m the only girl in the world,

Or kiss you under the stars,

And under the pouring rain.

Because being friends means I have to watch as you fall for another girl,

Watch you hold her hand, 

And kiss her,

And call her beautiful,

And give her the world.

But I will still be there,

Standing,

Watching on the sidelines,

Watching as you fall in love with someone else

Watching all while being nothing but your friend.