Oh the reasons that are preventing me from speaking

Why oh why must I feel this way 

But I’m tired of all ways that I have been through 

For only a chance

Change 

And a day 

For all, I’ve been through and just for this time 

Ahhh 

I’m sick and tired of feeling this way 

That is draining out the vain

But c'mon, I ain't gonna run away anymore

C’mon, IT, I can’t take this anymore

 I got nothing to lose anymore

For even a while for and just only to say 

Nothing

And now I ain't gonna hide anymore 

‘Cause why do I have to keep on hiding

For only just to conceal 

But why can’t I just let it go

Speak it out

Talk it out

Confront about

Biting on the lips 

Scratching on the wrist

As a “whimper” for help 

Mother saw 

Mother did nothing 

Only thinks the reason is attention

No one ever understands me 

Feeling alone

Feeling sorrow 

Feeling the anxiety

Feeling anger

And feeling, fear 

Tree 

leaves, branches, and beautiful colors 

That can only signify moving on 

Moving on, moving on, 

From the harsh past…

Seeds that can grow 

 Even can emerge from the ground 

Do I see myself like this? Yes 

Just one sprout coming from the ground 

Seein’ the light coming sparsely out 

The roots ready to grow 

That can finally show 

But one change that can occur is

To finally grow 

 A tree will always signify for me to finally 

And only…

Be free 

Rape as hard it is to say 

Speak about 

Talk about

But it is still there 

Ugh If only IT (Andy Evans) haven’t existed 

Life can be easier, happier, and clearer

By time…by day… by the moment  

Life is full of grief from within each second 

Losing contact with the school, parents, and even myself…

Myself is someone with having chapped lips

 feeling broken from the inside out

And the dirty appearance of my face 

My disgraceful face that is unworthy of love 

Like seeing trauma looking back at me 

Seeing a broken image of self 

With “muddy” brown eyes 

Dark eyebrows 

Such brokenness 

I, as someone who has chapped lips 

Chapped as they can be with cracked surroundings 

Lines caved in from each layer of tissue 

Taking a nibble of that dry skin and peeling it off with my teeth

Then becoming aware of the consequences of the burning…

The burning sensation of eating citrusy foods or even perhaps spicy foods

Oranges, limes, pineapples, and chili, you name it 

I hate looking at myself

A mirror that is in the closet that I flip over

Speaking as if it feels like my throat being tight 

Hiding the feelings 

And the feeling of loneliness 

At times it’s easier not to say anything 

About the harsh time 

Heather well is a perky type of person 

A person who is popular

A person who thinks I need “professional help” 

Because of depression

Such a “nice” friend… 

However, different people can

 support each other