I am Jew;

ish

not religious in that sense may I prestablish

I am a man of science that does not long for the concept of a god or any luminary star tokens around my neck for comfort

My identity is somewhat vagabondish

I spend most of my time wandering form post to post to decipher my fit in this world 

yet, an ish can only go so many places 

and before you ask, yes I have seen my family tree

the genetics on only my father’s side interconnect to display an array of ethic ties to the holocaust into a nice neat bow of who made it and who didn't

a closed case to ease the mind of loose knots and broken loops that could have formed during such clamorous events in the array of shtetls across Europe that I may descend from 

The jumble and mix of my heritage is almost untraceable

maybe Hittler did get what he wanted after all 

To the U.S WE GO~~

Meriminska

TOO JEW 

Minsk? 

TOO JEW 

Mills?

Ish.

WE are not wanted as we are 

drained of cultural essence 

now the title is even gone 

A planet without a cosmic address? 

A sound without a voice?

A shoe without a lace? 

I fear I sound foolish 

feeling remorse and longing but not being in the center of it all 

a broken melody of a buoyant klezmer replays itself at a lost distance drowned out by nostalgia 

often times I find my mind wandering the abyss of what ifs

the way I conceive my identity might be outlandish 

stubbornly keeping my fused legs in two far boxes at once, refusing to let go of at least one

curling my toes around the cardboard edges till the brown interior is ripped into even more confusion and uncertainty 

For those whom I will never know or have known only through pictures or shared tales, 

I am sorry-ish 

Because I will never be a Jew like you,

Only an ish.