I wish I could think back and laugh

That I could look back and say I got over it

That the damage that had been done wasn't permanent 

But I know I’d be lying if I did

Everywhere I look there's a remanence of the pain

Every time I take a moment to pause

Everything reminding me of it

Almost wanting me to stop smiling

Like a spiral taking me down the same path

Wanting itself to drag me down

Every negative thought 

Every negative memory

It all connects itself 

Slowly but steadily dragging itself 

Limping and Leaving a trail of blood

Back to the first damage that was done

Back to that same memory 

A part of me can't help but wonder why

Why it had to happen in the first place

Why I had to be the target

I wonder why I have to pay for it 

Why everywhere I look 

Why everything I touch

There's that same memory 

And why every noise I hear 

Is somehow as loud 

And as painful

Like a dagger in the heart

Or an arrow through the head

As long and sufferable 

As that same memory 

But as much as I wish I could 

I can never act as nothing happened 

Because that same memory 

That same arrow

That same dagger 

Is the one that has forever damaged me 

I have a forever scar 

A forever memory