i ask myself 

the same question everyday

who am i?

it’s a question that seems 

to have no answers

and way too many 

at the same time

for awhile i was DEPRESSION.

now, DEPRESSION wasn’t nice

she wasn’t friendly.

she was tired

and lonely

and she was hateful.

every night, i would sit up

writing a note 

planning and scheming for my way out.

and everyday i would get up 

and repeat the process

eat, sleep, hate myself, school repeat.

after DEPRESSION came numbness.

numbness was neutral 

lazy almost.

numbness went with the flow.

numbness wanted DEPRESSION back.

numbness liked DEPRESSION.

i would guess i am still numbness

i could even maybe be happiness 

or lonely

or angry

or tired

i don’t know who i am.

i just want to know who i am.