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How I’ve Learned to Keep my Heartbeats Small Inside a Growing Chest
How am I supposed to act as if we didn’t punch
Through screen doors with red popsicle remains
Dripping down our chins? As if we didn’t lie
Belly up in the crook of Lake Michigan,
Seeing how long we can stand the waves
Pounding us into the shore. As if we didn’t tiptoe
Around the forest in the dead of night
To see stars that the world had hidden
From us until now. Back to a time
Where we wanted nothing more
Than to expand. There was no sucking
In stomachs or straightening hair from
Its natural spring. We begged our parents
To give us more space to take up,
So they gave us the world outside.
Your dad used to tell us that visible ribs
Showed lack of nourishment. Back then
We saw ribs as containers for the magic
Swirling inside us. Now, ribs are merely
A protector for whatever remains of our hearts,
Shrinking and expanding.

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I wrote this piece with the idea of speaking to my cousin who recently lost her father. I wanted to capture how grief corrodes childhood innocence.