Do not pity me 

I look behind curtains of dark purple

Enveloping me in their silk

I see behind screens that take me to a void of tv static

I eat cherries under the ocean with people I’ve never met 

And yet still I feel so alone

I want to be embraced

Do not pity me

Look at me

As I watch from the shadows of my nightmares

As I writhe in my own skin trying to break out

My muscles contract and my bones crack

The coils turn and the gears switch and I still can't wake up

I search for something inside and I cough blood

It pours down my face from my eyes and I am drenched

Drenched from rainy days like this

I want an umbrella

Look at me

The iridescent tiles of shame plague my mind

They lead to an empty corridor with paintings of blank faces 

Nailed to a wall that leads to heaven

Or was it hell

Conversations with death shelter me in fragments of light

Bursting my eyelids with color

But I still see nothing

Am I doomed to be faceless

Who am I

Don’t look at me

My hands ache with callouses

Formed from the axe I used to build a house

A house so big and grand everyone would visit me

So I burned it down

The air smells of embers

Embers of memories trying to say goodbye

I drink tea with the angels

It scalds my tongue

Don’t look at me