if there was a book

'How To Mourn You' 

in a 1,000 pages or less

I would read front to back 

till I could recite the pages

under my breath 

every time I see you 

I would find the proper words 

at the back of my throat

I miss you 

what happened 

I hope you’re ok

I hope you rot 

there’s a story you used 

to tell me when I was young

about a boy who could 

harness the sun 

you would lasso it for me 

and tell me to never let 

go off the evanescent light 

and I can see it now in your eyes 

as they get fainter with 

an emptiness that comes after 

all your anger is drained 

how do you mourn somebody

across the room

I hate you with the passion 

of a million suns