Do you ever feel trapped like you’re wearing a hat nobody sees your beautiful face underneath of that cap The umbrella that was supposed to keep away pain a.k.a. the rain. I finally broke at the age of 9 for I was so happy for now at this age in time I am now 15 I have not once committed a crime but once I get up off my knees I again  i’m trapped in a room not able to breath. It feels like I’m surrounded by flesh eating fleas.  I find a broom I try to hit the wall and make a hole but yet I am faced again with doom you see these gates in my life I’ve never really opened I’ve never been happy after the age of nine since my time never even costed a dime. I slowly get pushed down again and again not even to expect i think to my self sometimes there’s no respect I think why am I here I’m a mistake nobody is close nor near I fear one day I will die of fear  maybe I’ll go through  The tunnel everyone’s talking about that’s pretty near when you have flashbacks of your happy life my time here is far from ending but sometimes I think “God was it really worth spending”,to make a child who sees there arriving upon their ending once was happy and now thinks everybody is annoyed, I feel empty,  my other half has left me They have changed and I think this is very deranged it’s very strange how one can be so  thoughtful and then the next minute they’re awful whilst then again I sit there and cry in my bones crack I keep thinking am I a piece of crap do they hate me or do they just want me to go away perhaps I could stay.perhaps I could die.  Maybe become an angel just Learning to fly.