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If I Told You That I Loved You
If I told you that I loved you
Would you come back to me?
If I told you that after sitting with you
On the floor of some high school hallway--
The first and last school dance I bothered to go to--
I realized that I loved you,
Would you come back to me?
If I told you that I lied to her
When I said it had nothing to do
With her choosing you,
Would you come back to me?
If I told you that I made a mistake
When I pulled away,
That I was wrong,
And I’m sorry,
Would you come back to me?
If I told you that I ask about you,
Everyone I still know
Who still knows you,
Would you come back to me?
If I told you that I just wanted you to speak first,
To break the silence that I’d manufactured
In a factory of anxiety,
That I’d been too afraid to close the empty space,
Would you come back to me?
If I told you that I loved you then
But I was too stupid to see it,
Too stupid to want it,
Too stupid to need it,
Would you come back to me?
If I told you that I love you
Would you come back to me?

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I moved this year. I had a relationship that I'd always thought I'd circle back to, it wasn't until I was packing up my room that I realized I never would. I didn't have a house to come home to, a reason to visit town, to see that person again. I'd spent so long thinking we'd get back together I hadn't even realized I'd never gotten closure. Consequently, I wrote a few nostalgic poems about the relationship in order to come to terms with the fact that it was in my rearview mirror.