I've missed 90 calls and 75 texts from the people that mean the most to me. 
One by one, they drive and arrive at a now busy street 
Hearts plummeting, they congregate looking at the sirens flashing in the night 
Voices yelling in all directions, yet mine is not heard. Silence overtakes the crowd  
A gurney being wheeled out 
As the wind blows through the air, a chorus of haunting wails follow 
I won't be haunting, but they will forever be haunted 
And with luck, I won't see them again for a long time. 
But they and I both know the vision of me that will stay with them is the one they see 
Right now. 
 
It's been 80 days since I chose to leave them, and my phone still rings with every passing day. 
75 turned into 150 turned into 225 turned into 300 
Turns out I should have left more than a note. 
No longer aching, no longer anxious, yet I'm longing for the time I had. 
I don’t sleep anymore, but I still see them crying in my dreams.  
Tears stain their pillows while guilt stains my hands. 
The gaps I once filled up seem emptier than they used to. Perhaps someday they will all be filled 
With memories, maybe. 
Sometimes I sense their anger seeping through to this world from theirs. 
I think they’ll be ok though. The aftermath of leaving won't last forever. 
 
70 weeks have passed since I decided to leave and my phone still rings after all this time. 
Its lonely here, but if God still hears my prayers, I pray it stays that way.  
They refuse to move on, and occasionally I hear them contemplating if I was ever there. 
Their tears have made a river, flowing without pause 
While I wish to press the pause button, because even now I can hear their calls 
Calling for a hidden memory to come forth as I call for a second chance 
As the days blend in a blur, I forget what made me want to leave the people I knew to be home 
In my absence I feared they would grow apart; last straw would be me breaking their hearts. 
They seem stronger together, however and for that I am thankful. 
They won't move on, but they continue to hold on. 
 
Its been 60 months since I left and my phone has finally stopped ringing. 
I think they got tired of texting a ghost that won’t reply 
One of my friends came to stay with me late last night. 
Said they couldn’t take it anymore, an unbearable absence making an unbearable life even harder. 
They seemed to be doing fine without me, 
Having ups and downs the same as before. 
Perhaps I was wrong, the image I saw nothing more than a mirage 
God seemed to have ignored my prayers of keeping them away 
A concept in my head, hoping they would outlive the dread 
Now I'm hoping the aftermath wont leave us all dead.