When I was 11

or 12

I don't fully remember

I watched Marvel's Black Panther

It was great

fantastic, actually

But as I exited the theater room

alongside my brother and his partner

I said something

"I feel

bad."

W - What is this? What is this thing I'm feeling?

H - How? How the hell could we do this to them?

I - I'm sorry. I'm so,

so sorry.

T - This sucks. I suck. We all f*cking suck.

E - Everything I do

is intolerant beyond my ability to think

it's not subconscious

it's beyond human consciousness

Superconscious.

G - God, if only I could go back and wipe it all away

U - U. You. I'm sorry for how I may have treated

     U

I - I'm so sorry. I'm so

so

     so

          so

f*cking

sorry.

L - Loser. Idiot. Uncultured piece of sh*t. That's what this little white boy is.

Aren't I?

T - The emotions. The awkwardness. The guilt. The past. Their conglomerate mass overwhelms my 

adolescent, 

pubescent,

caucasian,

nerdy,

wimpy,

liberal,

brain.

White Guilt.

my name is Devin. i'm a 13 year-old boy from north versailles, pennsylvania

right outside of Pittsburgh

when I was younger

though not by a lot

I went to the local theater

and watched marvel's Black panther

after the movie, i emerged from the theater room

next to my Brother and his Girlfriend

and I said

"I feel bad."

I feel bad

I feel

bad

I'm Sorry.