I’m fine

It’s what I say

When I want you

To go away

And leave me alone

And stop asking the questions

That already haunt my brain

And make me wonder

Who am I?

Why am I like this?

Why can’t I be normal?

I’m fine

You used to lay with me

In bed

At night

Until the bad dreams

Went away

And somehow

When you were there

They did

But one day

You stopped coming

So I stopped asking

And now I lay in bed

Alone

While the bad dreams

Haunt me

And make me wonder

Who am I?

Why am I like this?

Why can’t I be normal?

I’m fine

You used to teach me

Every day

Every lesson

I enjoyed

Even when 

I said I didn’t

I said no

I said I hate you

I said a lot of things

I didn’t mean

And so did you

But one day 

You stopped teaching me

So I stopped learning from you

And now I sit in front of

This blank computer screen

Alone

While the words you said

Haunt me

Almost as much

As the ones I said

And make me wonder

Who am I?

Why am I like this?

Why can’t I be normal?

I’m fine

You used to talk to me

For hours

About everything

I would talk, too

And you would listen

I would laugh

I would cry

And so would you

And I always left

Feeling happy

And loved

And special

But one day

You stopped listening

So I stopped talking

And now I sit in this room

Alone

While the tears we’d share

I shed

For both of us

And the laughter echoes

Just enough to

Haunt me

And make me wonder

Who am I?

Why am I like this?

Why can’t I be normal?

I’m fine

You used to love me

No matter what I did

I would scream

I would kick

I would punch

And you would love me

While holding back tears

But one day

You just stopped

You stopped loving me

So I stopped hurting you

And now I sit in my bedroom

Without the screams

And the kicks

And the punches

And I let the sadness

Consume me

Hurt me

Haunt me

And it makes me wonder

If you even care

Do you care?

Tell me

Do you care that I starve myself

Because I think I’m fat?

Do you care that I cry every day

Because it’s the only emotion I have left?

Do you care that I want to die

Because this life is no longer worth living?

Or do you just think

That I’m your messed up kid

With a messed up life?

Please

I want you to

Tell me

That you don’t care

So I can

Keep telling myself

I’m fine.