Dreams of Feelings | Teen Ink

Dreams of Feelings

April 30, 2021
By WolvesRain DIAMOND, Walton, Kentucky
WolvesRain DIAMOND, Walton, Kentucky
72 articles 0 photos 122 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Every secret of a writer's soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind, is written large in his works." Virginia Wolf


Hit a rock,

Blood pours like rain.

When I wake,

I'm sinking in tears,

Made by me.

Clawing for air,

Lungs screaming,

Cries muffled by waves.

Break the surface,

Looks for a way out,

Only to fall back in.

I close my eyes,

Letting the water engolf me.

Wakes to see I'm only,

Dreaming of what I feel inside.


The author's comments:

This is about the suffocating feeling of when people turn away when you need them most.


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This article has 6 comments.


on May. 10 at 7:25 am
WolvesRain DIAMOND, Walton, Kentucky
72 articles 0 photos 122 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Every secret of a writer's soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind, is written large in his works." Virginia Wolf

That would've been a cool title!

Lydiaq ELITE said...
on May. 9 at 1:05 pm
Lydiaq ELITE, Somonauk, Illinois
103 articles 31 photos 800 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A word is dead
When it is said
Some say.
I say
It just begins to live
That day."
--Emily Dickenson

Suffocation might be a good title.

on May. 7 at 7:26 am
WolvesRain DIAMOND, Walton, Kentucky
72 articles 0 photos 122 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Every secret of a writer's soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind, is written large in his works." Virginia Wolf

Thanks again for the advice, I will have to work on that. Quick question, could you give me an example of a good title for this poem so I can base my new poem titles on that. I promise I won't ask teen ink to change it to that.

Lydiaq ELITE said...
on May. 6 at 6:13 pm
Lydiaq ELITE, Somonauk, Illinois
103 articles 31 photos 800 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A word is dead
When it is said
Some say.
I say
It just begins to live
That day."
--Emily Dickenson

You can have a title that doesn't seem to match your poem or takes a bit of guesswork for the reader: it is grea that way.

on May. 4 at 7:38 pm
WolvesRain DIAMOND, Walton, Kentucky
72 articles 0 photos 122 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Every secret of a writer's soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind, is written large in his works." Virginia Wolf

I will take this into mind.

on May. 4 at 2:22 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
179 articles 22 photos 969 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)
And the words I say most often: "Where was I?"

so heres a recurring theme i see in ur poems: they're really good and interesting, but in the sidenote when you explain them really doesn't make sense, or rather, it wasn't conveyed in the poem. maybe a solution would be to make it longer and add more details? like in that, you said it was about people turning away, but you never mention people turning away, it sounds more like you just cant handle everything going on anymore. even saying that you need help, or that a cry for help goes unheard, unseen, would add to your intended purpose. i say this to help, not to make you feel bad about your work. under the context of just the poems, they're great, but with the sidenotes trying to claim something that I never felt alluded to or like itwas about just feels out of place. simple fix, tho.