I refuse to believe that life stops.

I refuse to believe that the end of existence is measured by the muscles in a heart slowly and steadily stopping, to the point where they are weak enough and no longer push oxygen through our veins. 

I refuse to believe that there is no other side.

that we only get one shot.

that all the mistakes we made,

all the regrets we have,

never get to be fixed.

That.  

We.

End.

And that’s it

As if you had your one chance

And it’s over.

I refuse to believe that people lose their fight forever

That they get cut short with no ending to their story 

Fairytales don't come true

Movie endings aren’t real

Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows

I know that

But how can we just stop

How can everything we worked for, experienced, the memories we made, be 

terminated.

How can it be that we did everything for just an average of 72.6 years

How can it be that those 26,499 days mean nothing in the end

But do people really see signs of a lost loved one in the world

or is their mind so delusional and in grief that they see anything and equate it to them

Are they in grief because they miss them?

or afraid they will become them?

The reality that one day that person will be them starts 

Trickling 

       Into 

           Their 

                 Own 

                      Mind

Is there really an afterlife?

or do we just sit in a large empty void of black 

Forever.

Nothingness swallowing us

Encasing us

as if you could swim in it.

Is there reincarnation?

Do we get to see everyone else that had died before us?

or are we finished

Dead and buried.

Over and done with.

Like a child’s toy after they lose interest 

Tossed off to the side

Sitting on the ground

Collecting dust

Awaiting the day someone else will come play with them

I refuse to believe that life stops 

because I’m scared of the End.

I’m not scared of my heart no longer pushing oxygen through my very own veins

But scared that the worst possible outcome is true

That all the bumps in the road never get smoothed

That the scenario that plays in my head over and over could become reality

That I only get one shot

and I waste it.