you said you love me

and that you care

and yet you were never there.

i remember you partly

but what i remember most is

yelling, screaming, abusing

i was crying but

to you this was all amusing.

crushing my dreams

breaking my spirit

i really thought i needed to hear it.

i thought i deserved it.

but how could a child understand

grew up too quick

matured too fast

maybe because i never had a dad.

you can have your girls and your drugs,

but I really needed and missed your hugs.

i hear your words inside my head

it haunts me as I lay in bed.

when I close or blink my eyes I see your smile

f*ck… haven't seen that in a while.

you used to love me

and once you did care

maybe i couldn’t tell

but now you're never there.?

im not complaining.

it was hard wondering

why?

why wasn’t good enough for you?

but i don’t miss you.

i wont text or i wont call

i wont let this cycle continue

i deserve a lot of bad things..

but never like the way you treated me.