Love song

How do I tell what I feel

Whether it’s false or whether it’s real

sea green fabrics and salt in the air 

a selection of potions, plants, and pears

I have wandered into the mists of Avalon 

time has ceased to exist, and I do not know what day it is 

I can’t tell if i’m pretending 

To be free of any worry or doubt or pain-- 

I'm overthinking.

I would like to stay frozen in time, in this place, in this personality

she is calm, lively, bright and free

nothing I meet shows me their entire being 

maybe I can simply choose who I am every morning 

I want to be this me forever.

nothing is truly real, so how can I be a lie?

How do I tell what I feel

Whether it’s false or whether it’s real

“Stop trying to be so mature, who are you convincing?” 

please, if I tell you my age, promise you won’t treat me differently

Time is the funniest thing

I see my life being lived in a loop

sunlight meets the tree tops 

and falls back down as tear drops

I melt into love too soon 

The loop numbs the wonder: “I’ve never felt like this before,”

They say; “I’ve never met anyone like you before!”

last night I slept on her floor 

I liked the discomfort, it made me feel grounded,

like i would question buying expensive juice.

I should have been a pearl plucked by a nymph

glowing and gliding upon soft moss 

Sitting in the middle of a circular room

I ate something blue and without time, very soon,

I was everything and nothing.

Then came thoughts like “should I not” or “can I break through”

my own deceit seemed like all i knew

you are an ant in the hands of the great puppeteer

or am I the one controlling the strings?

for fun for play for experiencing a tree

there was an idea the elves brought to me

I was not able to bring it back, but we 

can talk about it longer if you want to hear

And I bet it has no meaning at all 

that I met him in a dream or

see love but never seem to fall

that everything I will ever meet or be 

is temporary.

It must not matter at all, that he didn't call

and I never told her how I felt

That touching her skin and breathing her in 

Was so boundless in beauty, but my capacity too small 

Because I just can't handle it, I must weep and crawl

into myself, soul splattered onto a blank wall 

because, what if it has no meaning at all 

I wish I never tried to figure it out. 

The paint on the floor and the song she sent... 

(dreams are real when they stop being dreams) 

talk about how difficult it is to talk,

because even if you hear me, touch me 

you cannot know me tangibly 

and there is no me to know.

I don't know what i mean 

my favorite sky today is grey tomorrow 

if I never tried to figure it out 

there would nothing to be sad about 

 No! I am not Titania, queen of the fairies 

nor any sort of immortal mystical being 

I am a sensitive fleshling 

I am Romeo, ceaselessly falling

into lava pits of passion

I am greasy and don't know what to say 

I bear no luminescent wings, only thoughts of 

my someday decay 

I cannot move… I am stuck still

If i’ve not died, then soon i will

Shall I bleach my eyebrows white? What should we make to eat?

how can I explain to you my lifelong deceit 

I've always been pretending, so your love feels bittersweet

I do not think they could see me 

But to me they are clear as my hand in pure pond water

I would like to kiss her peach soft cheek and descend 

into this sage green castle at the end of the game

its all the same its all the same 

if I lose this you I will never be the same