lunar new year | Teen Ink

lunar new year

March 27, 2021
By sabrinakinowski BRONZE, Glenview, Illinois
sabrinakinowski BRONZE, Glenview, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

is when your efforts finally prevail

as the savor of rice cakes bubbling in brine 

creeps into the crack through the threshold

coaxing her into the kitchen with a longing

scribbled hastily across her face and 

when you remind her of the old korean tradition 

that she must have tteokguk to grow wiser 

her resolve breaks with the bitterness on her face 

and she tells you it’s only because 

it’s lunar new year

 


is when there’s finally enough laughter 

at the table as the gaping hole at her spot

is filled tonight and you won’t take her 

presence for granted as you load an extra

dumpling onto her plate and devour her

the whole meal as her face glows with 

every love loaded bite and you wonder

why a growing girl who loves food so much

would skip dinner every day but 

you can ponder that later because 

it’s lunar new year

 


is when this nonsense will finally quit

you hope as she thanks you with a short bob

setting her chopsticks in the sink and rinsing her bowl

you think that her ribs won’t show as much tonight 

and that her sallow cheeks have filled a little

in the half-hour she stayed at the table and

maybe you’ll make tteokguk again tomorrow

you decide as she slips to the bathroom

even if it won’t be

lunar new year


The author's comments:

Some background:

A friend of mine used to have a lot of difficulty eating, especially dinner. We're both Korean-American, and on Lunar New Year, there is a tradition that one must have tteokguk (rice cake soup) in order to mature a year older. 

Lunar New Year a couple years back, her father had told her that his biggest regret was "not eating more of my mother's food when I (he) had the chance". That night, she broke a personal rule for a traditional one. The story is from her mother's point of view, as my friend's absence at the table had affected her the most. 

I think the saddest part of this poem is when it says she slips to the bathroom, at the end. A telltale indicator of bulimia is a visit to the bathroom immediately after meals. While the mother is overjoyed that her daughter finally ate dinner, the girl had gone to purge her meal after. 

Despite the sad ending, that Lunar New Year was a defining moment in the beginning of recovery for her. I wrote this poem to encourage others into recovery because if we can't seem to get better for ourselves, we should try for the ones that struggle with us. 


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