The blanket covers my bare body, shielding me from the noises of the night

My heart beats steadily like a drum, my comfort zone is protected

But I know the protection will abandon me, it’s only a matter of time

I toss and turn, my toes begin to hurt

Chilled air seeps through the pores of the blanket, slowly devouring my skin

Incessant ringing pounds in my ears, voices scream “Move! Do something!”

But I am tied to the thoughts that keep my body still, unwilling to move, but willing to sink into the floor

The blanket is now tattered, gusts of wind push the stinging cold against my cracking skin

The pain is amplified, growing stronger, becoming unbearable

My mouth opens, weakened words form a faint scream for help

I tremble, body shaking, I am alone

Tears trickle down my pale cheeks, frostbitten fingers try to form a fist

But I am bound to the ground, my body flails but I am strung to the judgements of my mind like a puppet

Unable to release, to let go, to forget the mistakes

I hold onto the past like a wish from a dying soul, unwilling to move on from the comments about my voice, my features, my intellect, the person who I grew to pity

People say look for the light at the end of the tunnel, but I am falling down a cave, a rabbithole of self-loathing

There are no ladders, no ropes, just never-ending darkness of the night

Will the sun ever rise?