Why me 

Why feel alone in a room of 20

Why …why not being able to get the help I need

Why not being able to cry when I need to 

Or be happy

Why won’t you believe me!

I’m I a simple lie

Is the life that I didn’t ask for an excuse 

Why can you get educated?

No...Just stand there act if I was normal like nothing was wrong

Oh, wait it´s just an excuse right?

Why can´t I just run 

Runaway from fear, emotions...life

Because there is no escape 

But just stand there 

With your hands tied 

and your mouth sealed shut

Broken

Alone

Scared

I don´t know maybe smile

Because life is a utopia 

Because you don’t have to hear screams at night

Or Worry as if you were an adult and your life was falling apart

Because you don´t have flashbacks every time you close your eyes

Again and again

Of the thing that would ruin your life forever

Traumatize you 

Until you have no memory left 

No trust

No self-worth 

Left with trust issues and depression 

No! Because with the right help and a vision board 

It can all go away

But what if you can afford the help 

What shall save me from the dragon that torments me 

Will it just disappear?

What if I have no goals 

For the future that Denies me 

Shall it be the end of me? 

It will live with me  forever

A birthmark in my mind and soul 

In the places that hurt more 

Live with chains that hold me back

From happiness

Holding me down in an ocean filled with pain and isolation

Keeping me from breathing the air that gives me life  

Felling the sun on my brown skin

The brown skin that no one wants because it does not belong here

Drowning alone with no escape 

Over and over again.