i long for the days

when seasons were more

of a state of mind

than a knowledge,

when october could come

through a late summer's breeze

and may often came in late august

i long for the days

when sleep was a curse

instead of something that you can control,

when you'd sleep on the couch

cartoons in the back

and nobody would think you're a fool

i long for the days

when the greenest grass

was in your own backyard

when you could spend hours

searching for rocks -

now the search is all too hard

but now i've picked out all the rocks in my yard

and seasons are just as they are

and when i fall asleep

it's in my bed

and my dreams are mundane, thus far

my childhood had left me

before i was aware

and i was never told,

just expected to care

about due dates and papers and GPAs

the sudden need to do well left me crazed,

when "overwhelmed" became my only emotion

when my grades swept me away

who was i to try and swim in this ocean

of good students and expected straight A's?