Guilty Conscience | Teen Ink

Guilty Conscience

October 22, 2020
By zobird23 BRONZE, Geogretown, Delaware
zobird23 BRONZE, Geogretown, Delaware
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

i should go to bed:


i should go to bed

but i can't

wind howling through the small crack in my window

the spot where you laid

now bare

just a print of how you used to lay

to deep for me and to big

i stay on my side

blankets no longer shared

so i can curl up

but it's not the same 

not the same not falling asleep by you

not the same waking up without you

nothings the same anymore

i should go to bed 

denial: 


denial is

pillows laid out like your laying next to me

denial is

not touching your nightstand 

because you liked everything in order

denial is 

calling in sick for work

just to walk around the house in your clothes

denial is 

doing everything in the morning 

pretending everythings okay 

denial is 

thinking your still here


all in black:

all in black

i stand there watching 

watching the people who barely knew you cry 

and pretending to be okay

as strangers say there sorry

sorry for my loss

do you know how hard it was

how hard it was to wear something other then your clothes

you said you'd wait

you promised you wait

wed grow old 

but no

i guess it was okay for you to break your vows

nothing i can do now that your 

six feet down


six feet down:


six feet down

your stuck in the ground

they say i should go visit

but i still have my denial

the dog still looks for you

and i still wear your clothes

they said it'd take awhile

don't think they meant a year

it should be me 

not you 

six feet down


The author's comments:

The piece I wrote in a way represents the stages of grief. As a person who has never really experienced the loss of a loved one I tried diving deeper into my emotions. I put my self in the place of a sigifigant other who just lost their love. I tried to think of what I would do if I was in that place. The gulity conscience comes in in the fact that whenever someone passes away you think of what you did wrong and everything you could of done to make this avoidable. At first when the the story begins with "I Should Go To Bed" you think you're experiencing a break up or loss of love but when you get to "All In Black" you start to piece together it is a funeral. I tried to piece together we know as signs of a death, like the black, and the people trying to comfort the deceased signifigant other. Instead of using capitials like many other poems I chose to use uncapitalzed wording to give the affect that the mourner is worn out and tired and grieving. While the whole story is ery the lowercase just show that that widower/ etc is worn out from the loss of their lover.


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