Most days feel the same.

I wake up

Skip breakfast

And go to school

I look in the mirror

I notice that 

My bangs stick up

I need to cut my hair

My roots need bleached

My clothes are messed up

I should brush my teeth

Maybe today I’ll take care of my skin for once?

Maybe not.

Too tired.

I’m pretty low maintenance

But my appearance means a lot to me

I know what I look like

But is that what I look like to others?

I hope so.

I wonder if I’m the only one

that feels like they’re living in a blur

Like life is happening without me

and I’m just drifting through time

unconsciously

Sometimes I wish there would be a change

To have something dramatic happen

Something to talk about.

All I know how to do is complain.

It’s just so easy to do,

To find all the negative things in something.

You get caught in a cycle of negativity

That starts to change how you think.

You become stuck hating everything

And I want to break out.

My personality doesn’t feel like my own

It feels like I took it from someone else

And am hiding who I truly am.

Is this who I want to be?

Or is it what I think other people want me to be?

It’s easier to hide

Than to be vulnerable

I would rather hide forever

Than be judged

For who I actually am.

But maybe opening up isn’t so bad

I can be comfortable if I do

I don’t have to waste my energy

Being someone I’m not

Maybe

I won’t hide forever

Because there’s more to life

Than living in fear