Lost at the cost of my own humane morale, dissing you from my sight to make me feel all good and not so bad even though I know I'm way worse than your worst nightmare. Lost in my own thoughts, the same thoughts that makes me feel insane, insane to the point where I don't even know who the f__k i am, consumption, corruption, these thoughts are very contagious spreading like a virus through my mind corrupting me, consuming me like a starving child when it finally gets to eat, thinking negatively when all I want to do is think positively. But I can't, the concionouse inside my head is a conundrum. Wanting one thing but choosing another, i hate this feeling, animus, confliction, contradiction, feeling sh_tty pursuing the thought, the comfort, the sensation to release dopamine from my system, (ecstasy) , stop the hostility of my own pessimism, cant, constant corruption, consumption, (FEAR)  afraid of what others think, letting their opinions affect how once views themselves and restrict me from ever moving from this shell that i've created but have tried so hard to break free from. Fear of failure, fear to never meet the expectations of the ones i loved so dear.