I am a very jealous person. With everything. Which is odd and very unnecessary. With infact every relationship I've ever had. Whether that be a family relationship, boyfriends, friends, and everything in between. Everything to me, carries jealousy some way. Every love and every hate is ultimately fueled by this. The fear of missing out or being left out and forgotten. Like even if you trust someone with your life, you still fear that they will forget about how much you mean to them at that time, and that you will become less important to you. I am a purebred jealous person. It’s almost like being afraid to trust someone because once you do, that trust bond forms into some sort of relationship. One more to add to the list. But, I like when people get jealous over me. Or even show that they are. I sometimes like to control this. I hope that doesn’t make me a bad person. But I love feeling wanted, and left with a purpose. That someone cares. That someone is concerned with what I do. I have come to accept the fact that I care too much and overthink a lot of scenarios about what could and can happen in certain situations. It’s almost instinctive for me to become jealous. It’s nothing I can change or even want to change, because it makes me, me. Whether it is good or bad. It’s who I am. But the constant worry and nervousness is bothersome, the loss of sleep and ounces of tears shed, soaking up my pillow before I fall asleep. I also tend to get very needy and attached to people I know I shouldn’t. Like if I know I shouldn’t be thinking about someone, I can’t seem to free them from my thoughts. It’s addicting to want attention from someone you love or show interest in. That one though, is more difficult to overcome. It’s an obsession, and almost a lifestyle for me. I know a few people with this exact trait too. Which makes me feel better, almost. Like I am not the only one with this, unfortunate, well, I don’t know. Jealousy for me is in fact not wanting the person you want attention from to give it to anyone else. I’m very good at getting people to feel this way too. It is not right, and I don’t do it as much as you would think, because I know how it can and does, make someone feel. It’s probably because of who I am and what I’ve been through. My experiences. It’s a very twisted game. Everyone has a twisted game they know how to play. But as soon as anyone I am making jealous understands what I am doing, returns the actions to get back at me. And I am jealous, yet again. This continues to happen until this bond or relationship ends out of lack of communication. I don’t want this to happen again. Everything I want, I want, even if I shouldn’t, I do.