My self-confidence is withering away, 

my self-esteem fluctuates, 

like the temperature on summer days.  

It’s never specifically set on a dial,

ranging from 0 to 100, 

it wavers constantly, 

every minute of the day. 

Some days,

my confidence will be glimmering,

how I emotionally feel, 

how I expect my day will go.  

Others, 

I feel like the ugly duckling, 

self-conscious, exhausted. 

I wish my self-confidence to be glued at 100  

to feel stunning all day, unchanging. 

I wish to feel beautiful when I wake up 

and not be my own teacher, 

grading everything 

that is drawn to my eyes.

Most days,

I stretch out of bed,

And robotically repeat to myself … 

I could look better,

I don’t look good in this,

I could be skinnier,

I could have clearer skin,

I wish I could feel better about myself. 

I wish to walk confidently

in what clothes I wear, 

not to feel like I have a sign 

hanging over my head,

drawing attention to me. 

I do not want my confidence to be fake. 

I want it to be real, 

notarized by the teller. 

I cannot open my eyes,

wake up my brain every day

and wish and change myself

to look perfect like a Barbie. 

Having endless perfect hair days,

perfect baby blue eyeshadow,

and pretty pink lipstick 

I can only accept myself as I am. 

That is necessary to study and implement

on this test called, “Life”. 

One day,

I will wake up and staredown 

my inner warrior 

through the mirror’s glossy glass reflection 

and declare to myself… 

You are amazing, 

you are the best that you can be, 

you look perfect in that dress, 

your hair looks good today, 

your skin is glowing. 

You deserve to feel good about yourself. 

But most of all, 

You are confident. 

We will be confident in ourselves one day, 

we just have to work hard towards it.