It should have been good-night hugs,
reality saw my stuffed duck and a briskly shut door.
It should have been a movie night with my family,
popcorn and blankets,
reality saw me watching my sister’s hospital monitor beep a slow staccato.
It should have been trips to the park,
swings, slides, monkey bars,
reality saw me biking through the woods with my brother,
to an old, abandoned church,
to broken-down farm equipment hidden in dying trees.

It could have been a sunny day at the beach,
shoes stuffed with sand,
reality saw me hacking at a stump behind the shed,
using makeshift tools.
It could have been a trip to Disneyland,
reality saw the frigid sprinkler in tangled grass.
It could have been love and support,
reality saw scolding and negativity.

It would have been after school activities,
reality saw the doctor’s office…again.
It would have been children laughing,
reality saw the downstairs office that belonged to the family therapist.
It would have been the Zoo with my siblings,
dripping ice cream and slowly warming lemonade,
reality saw me teaching my sister the days of the week song,
I had just learned myself,
when she couldn’t remember.