Growing up can be hard.    

Some days I want to cry,

And others I want to die.

Ungrateful I am for my blessing,

So I’ll put on a smile to hide what’s depressing.

Happiness isn’t a choice but a state of mind,

That from time to time,

My chemistry forgets to abide.

The hull of my ship awaits orders in vain.

I’ve set sail without knowing where.

There was no time to decide before packing.

I was sent out into the dark blue,

Before I knew what was happening

Aimlessly, I wander in an ocean of storms,

With no oars to row me ashore,

With nothing but stars to show me my course,

Growing up can be hard.

Do you remember the days gone by beyond the horizon?

Where the golden light of the sun kisses the sea,

There lies a beautiful land,

Filled with passion and glory and all the love in the world.

This fairytale land, built by the tenderness of childhood dreams,

Is home to a nation who lives with a joy akin to no other.

Peace covers its mountains and rivers like a warm blanket put in place by their mother.

The naive flowers in bloom there,

Whisper the future I once saw in a vision,

Their words a gentle caress to my heart.

They sigh as they dance on the breeze,

Carried by the wings of freedom,

And laughter with a jubilant air.

Like a comb once held by my father,

They slip through the silk of my hair.

Softly, they brush my butterfly lips with the beat of those delicate wings,

Their radiance taking my breath away as if magic were real.

In this land warmed by the kiss of the sun,

I grew up.

And like all those before me, I set out to sea,

Leaving behind the dear memories beneath the crushing weight of the clock.

Growing up can be hard.

Now it is cold.

The snow falls around me.

A million razor-sharp crystals to numb out my pain.

Reality warps in front of my eyes as I reach out to touch it,

But my fingers brush nothing but air.

The earth underneath my feet, once so eternal, is tilting.

I slip and I fall hard to my knees.

Too weak to get up I can do nothing but lie in a sea of my tears,

Despising myself for my weakness.

Before, when all was good in the world,

I would have laughed at my sadness,

Pushed myself up,

Brushed off the dust,

And kept on walking my path.

Those carefree days are long gone,

Along with the joy that they brought.

Growing up can be hard.

A ship full of life will stay at the surface,

No matter what storms are thrown in its course.

But some storms are harder to weather than others.

Winds shrieking with cruelty will rip through your sails,

And tear down your mast.

A ship hollow and broken will sink to the black depths of despair.

I drown, frightened to death by the dark, choking abyss.

Please, just let me be numb,

I feel too much.

It tears me apart.

Growing up can be hard.

If heaven exists on this earth,

Then it is found in the places where happiness flourishes.

And if heaven exists up high in the skies,

Then it is found on the clouds that carry our dreams.

We soon learn the only way we can reach them

Is with a ladder stacked high with our blood, sweat and tears.

If we do not sacrifice every ounce of our being,

We are undeserving of this privilege by the name of success.

Growing up can be hard.

In this age of self-definition,

I try on personas like I try on clothes at the store.

The salesmen harass me with their fashion advice,

Each thinking they know better than me.

When I finally find a demeanor I like,

They tear me down and say try again.

In a world that is constantly telling you

How to act,

What to think,

What to feel,

The person you know the least is yourself.

Growing up can be hard.

I never realized how much love I recieved;

The strong arms that carried me,

The hands that held mine in their grasp,

The stories they told me,

The affection they gave me,

The lessons they taught me,

The loving care they bestowed me.

Oh how they cherished me,

As though I was the only one in the world.

Never again will I feel the same way.

I took it for granted,

For only when it was long gone,

Did I realize how much I had missed it.

And now tears fall from my eyes,

Because you can’t turn back time,

No matter how much you try.

Growing up can be hard.

I never learned how to live;

How to stand up on my feet.

This world seems too harsh

For my paper-thin skin.

When I look for protection

I find at the end of the day,

I have only myself to rely on.

Growing up is hard.

But you don’t have a choice.

You may scream in frustration,

Or try to mend the pieces of your shattered glass keep,

Until your fingers are painted in red.

It won’t make one hell of a difference.

You just have to let go.

It’s the only way you’ll fly free,

I cannot go back.

I can only go forward.

I know this,

Yet I am a dreamer at heart.

I wish I could return to the start of this voyage,

When I still lived in those fairytale lands,

Of a summer eternal and fair.

Or else I wish time would slow down.

It’s all going so fast I can’t catch a break.

I know I’m growing up,

But inside I’m just a little girl,

Who feels tired, sad and alone,

Surrounded by the howling winds of an alien planet,

While longing for the beautiful land I call home.