Some people describe depression as having a ton of bricks in your chest, like drowning, like feeling nothing. And I’ll agree that all of these are true. Depression feels like a ton of bricks are in your chest, and that you're drowning, and that you feel nothing. It also feels like static and being buried alive, and like suffocating, and like being in a bubble surrounded by a world full of happy people but no one can enter your bubble. It feels like being trapped like your body is a cage, your mind is a change. And no one can get you out, not you or anyone who says they want to help because there is no key to your cage because your cage is your mind and minds don’t have locks. The mind just is. Having depression is feeling all these things but realizing that there is no way to escape what your feeling. Realizing you can't escape because there's nothing keeping you in because there isn’t an “in” or “out”, there is only an “is”. You are not trapped in a cage that if released you would be happy. You yourself are a cage. You are what you are. You are depressed. You aren't feeling depressed or have depression. Having depression is realizing you are depressed. You are your mind and your mind is sick and your mind is the only one who can fix your mind but you mind is your whole universe and your universe feels like your drowning and suffocating, and static, and like there are a ton of rocks in your chest or that your surrounded by happiness you can never retain. Depression is realizing that you are the pain your feeling and there is no way for you to escape. There is nowhere to hide because you can’t hide from yourself. You can’t hide when you can’t go anywhere. Can’t separate you from your sick mind. Can’t separate your mind from your skin. Can’t escape this feeling. Can’t escape. You're trapped with these monsters because you are the monsters. You are a monster trying to destroy yourself. You can’t kill the monsters without dying yourself. Can’t survive without bringing along the monsters. This is depression. Depression is subconsciously realizing these things and trying to ignore it. Trying to pretend like your watching the plot of a horror movie. That your dreaming. That you're exaggerating. Depression is feeling like your dying because your brain is trying to destroy itself, whilst telling itself that there is nothing wrong. Depression is having to pretend like nothing is wrong or else you wind up dead. You can’t acknowledge the fight within you or else you’ll have to pick a side. A team. A path. Pick between two paths that both lead to you being dead. You can destroy the monsters or destroy yourself. Either way, you end up destroyed. Depression is trying so hard to not make a decision. To not follow a path. To not go towards the knife or pill but instead deciding to embrace the white noise. To let it distract you. Depression is letting yourself get distracted by all the pain in order to avoid the end result. In order to survive.