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thoughts made for nighttime
Put my hands
In boiling water
Until they freeze
Numb my feet
Under the weight of my knees
As I kneel over
The toilet bowl
Vomiting up the words
Of the stranger
I call My Old Self
Until nausea
Turns to fatigue
I crane my neck
Towards the sky
And notice
A happy cluster of stars
Get closer and realize
They’re light-years apart
Disconnected: my brain and heart
I fall deeper into my soul for
An answer
The pins and needles in my toes
Stab at my thoughts
And tell me that
I am not doing This right

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