Sitting on the grave,

I stare out at the sunset,

Blinking back tears,

I’m sorry,

That is what they always say,

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

The hard shell I worked so hard to build,

To conceal all my fear, despair, and loneliness,

shatters.

Feelings overwhelm me,

With nothing to keep them at bay,

I slide into the dark,

Grasping for something to ground me to this world,

Hands come up empty,

I slip into the past.

Scenes play before me,

Memories,

Driving down the road,

The car ramming into us,

Screams,

Weightless,

Flying through the air.

Thumping in my head,

Pain,

Unconscious,

Lights shining,

Eyes open in a stretcher,

Mother beside me.

Paramedic standing over her,

Shaking his head,

“She’s gone”,

Gone where?

Slipping into blackness,

Waking up in a whitewashed room,

Bright lights glaring down on me,

Steady beeping of a heart monitor,

Head throbbing,

Mind fuzzy,

Closing my eyes.

In a coma,

Until finally awoken,

Doctors standing over me,

Saying it was a miracle I survived,

No one else did.

A miracle I survived to live with my misery.

My eyes snap open,

Sun shining,

Mocking my pain,

My aunt standing over me,

“I’m here.”

I blink the black spots away,

And collapse in her arms,

Breaking down completely,

“It’s okay. It’s okay.”

Eyes finally dry,

I stand,

I feel empty inside,

Devoid of feelings.

My aunt sees my pained expression,

She hugs me,

A pleasant feeling blossoms in my chest.

Hope.

Hope that I will honor my family.

Hope that I will look upon my miracle as a blessing.

Hope that I will never feel alone.

I will never forget the event that changed my life,

I will never give in to despair.

I will continue to have hope.