A wall of pain | Teen Ink

A wall of pain

May 24, 2019
By Miafan22 SILVER, Cannon Falls, Minnesota
Miafan22 SILVER, Cannon Falls, Minnesota
6 articles 1 photo 0 comments


While I walk through the halls

I make sure to keep my head low

Trying not to make eye contact

Quiet as can be

Many people don't know I have extreme anxiety

But only some of my friends know

It's really hard for me sometimes

But sometimes life gets hard

And its difficult to push through

It’s like a huge rock I can't push out of the way

Anxiety is always gonna be in the way of My life

some people say it’s nothing

But it’s not nothing

They only say that because they have never witnessed it

Anxiety makes everything difficult

Like for instance

While during a test I think to myself

The worst of things that could happen

I start to tremble and shake

Knowing I’ll fail I can only imagine how many more test I have to do

the school makes me have the most anxiety

And what people say stuff they shouldn't say

It can really affect people

Words can stick to people  

Some People just don’t understand me

Anxiety is the feeling where

You think all eyes are on you judging you when no one is

Actually doing it.

Anxiety is the fear of a fear

It makes me feel terrible

First, I get a stomach ache

Then my head

It aches while I think of a million things that could happen

So many things cross my mind

While I can't even think straight

Then my whole body gets shakey

And I feel as if though I can't do what I like anymore

Because of anxiety

In class I am quiet    

When the teacher asks a question

I never raise my hand

I'm terrified for the teacher to call on me

Thinking if I get the question wrong people will laugh

So I say nothing

My heart beats faster

And I can hear my heart through my head

I can't focus and start to get dizzy

When class is done I feel a big relief

Then wait for the next class to come

And again my anxiety comes back

Another thing that surrounds me with anxiety

Are people

Some people make me feel like

I'm a loser but

I only get anxious around certain people

My friends I don't get anxious around

But others I do get anxious around

I feel like they are judging me constantly

Even though they probably aren't

But yet that little bit of anxiety is still lurking

Around my head.

as many people would say

“Life will get better”.

Which I believe it will

With time and space

It will get better slowly but surely

I don’t want to get attention

I just wanna be me

Myself

With no worries



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