Are you okay?

Yeah, I’m fine.

I just feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and that everyone hates me and I really want to die.

But am I okay?

Yeah, I’m alright.

I joke about being suicidal to make it seem less real.

I think I do this because I don’t want to feel.

How was your day?

Amazing!

I woke up and didn’t get out of bed for a few minutes, because, no, no, no, I’m still alive?!

Next, I put on my makeup, hoping to hide every blemish, hoping to look like that gorgeous model I saw in that magazine, hoping to live up to the standards of being pretty.

Walk downstairs, “Wow, your makeup looks good”

“Thanks!”

Food? I’ll take a banana and orange juice so I don’t look fat.

 “How are you feeling?” I give you a lie. I say I’m happy even though I just want to cry. I add a smile I’ve practiced in the mirror the night before.

Go to my classes, get below a one hundred percent-I’m a failure.

Gym: I can’t run as fast as him, I can’t play as fast as her.

But how was my day?

Oh, amazing!

Look at me. What do you see? You see a girl with hopes and dreams? The only dreams I have are those that come to me when I’m asleep.

I have dreams to be an actress, but I’ve already got that covered. I mean, look at me, acting every day on this stage called life.

Call me a fool, but I’m fooling you.

My smile’s so forced you should see right through.

But that was yesterday.

And this is today:

Are you okay?

Yeah, I’m great. I feel like I’m walking on air and I know I am loved and I finally want to live.

So, I am great.

I look at the scars on my arm and I say

These show the battles I’ve fought and the dragons I had to slay

How was your day? 

Lovely!

I got out of bed and thanked God for letting me live another day.

I then smiled in the mirror, noticing that I’m beautiful just the way I am.

Walk downstairs and get my favorite sugary cereal because you know what? I deserve a treat.

 “how are you feeling?” I tell you happy and this time I don’t even have to fake a smile.

Go to my classes and I get an 80% and that’s okay, because I tried my best.

Gym: I can’t run like him but I made sure I did my best.

Overall, my day was pretty good.

The girl you see before you is a survivor.

Some days are lower while some days are higher.

I might’ve messed up sometimes in the past

But that’s the past and I’m moving on to the future.