Why

I felt that hand

I saw that glance

I too can be observant

Watch my surroundings like a hawk

But I am not looking for food

I am looking to survive

To make it home one more night

Without being gaped at by drunks

Who don't need to know that they're the only ones

Who think I’m beautiful

Because I refuse to count an opinion

Shouted out a car window

Or the opinion of a hand

With no mouth to speak

But whose devastating bite I cannot escape

It will follow me

Mocking me, silently miming

The words he is too cowardly to say

To my face

He can only say it to my chest

Did It Happen

“Please, babe.”

I don’t -

“Because you love me.”

I do…

“Come on, gimme a kiss.”

But-

“Show me that killer smile.”

Okay...

“Because I love you.”

I love you.

“You have to. You’re my girlfriend. This is just part of it.”

It is?

“If we’re gonna be serious about each other then…”

We are serious.

“God I want you.”

But-

“I’m going to kiss you now.”

...Okay.

“What’s wrong with me, that you don't want to?

Nothing’s wrong with you.

“What is your problem, Haley?”

I don't know…

“I wish we could figure it out.”

I-

“Maybe I can help you.”

Maybe.

“Let me help you.”

Not now, okay?

“Then when?”

I don’t know. Can’t we just watch a movie?

“But you’re so much more... entertaining.”

Really?

“We always watch a movie.”

I like watching a movie with you… Close to you.

“You want to be close to me?”

Yes.

“Oh... I could never focus on a movie anyway.”

Why not?

“You’re much too distracting.”

Oh. Okay.

“God, Haley, it’s a compliment. Can’t you take a compliment?”

Yes.

“So what do you say?”

Thank you.

“Anytime, love. Now where were we?”

We were about to watch a movie

“That's not what I remember.”

What do you remember?

“I was going to do this.”

I-

“Please, Haley? I just can’t help myself.”

But-

“I love you so much… Let me show you how much I love you, okay?”

But-

“I want to show you, if you’ll let me. Let me show you how much I love you.

…

“...”

Okay.

To Me

Come over

Have fun

Loosen up

Why was I doomed to be a follower?

Following my friends from party to party

Following the crowd to the beach

Following Michael to the keg

To his room

The trouble with being a follower

Is at some point you’re bound to get left behind

Left alone in the steppe of sheets while he what?

Brushes his teeth?

Spits the taste of beer and me down the drain

I wonder what he’s thinking

If he’s running through all of last night in his head

I wonder if he remembers everything

I wonder if he remembers me saying no

Because I sure do