When I’m depressed, I look at depressing things on the internet.

I see all of the pictures that talk about how their razor is their only friend.

 I am not like that.

Although I am damaged beyond repair.

I self-harm but I don’t know why.

 I think I knew at one point.

But I’ve long since forgotten.

I do not get attached to things very often.

When my friend discovered that I self-harm it was her birthday.

The only one that I will get to celebrate with her.

She leaves to go home to Germany in June.

She tells me that her brother did too.

My cousin was there too.

She self-harms too.

She saw my razors sitting on my table.

Like a cry for help.

She slapped me.

She cried.

My friend had to hold me down so they could check my wrists.

I don’t know why she stayed.

She was my first kiss.

I would run as far away.

I ruined her birthday.