I picked at my fingers, ruined my nail beds, bit my cheeks and tore skin from my lips. All while waiting for you to decide you love me, too 
My nails grew back and the skin recovered, but I am often afraid my soul never will 
The heart keeps itself beating, the body has ways to recover without you even noticing
Your soul, however, waits for you to be ready 
I could not force recovery months or years after you saying “I dont love you, I think” 
If you wait until the perfect time, you will be waiting forever. 
There will be no right time to break somebody’s heart, not even your own. 
There are serums and oils for your body and heart
My soul is still searching for recovery 
My body is healed, I do not flinch at the sound of your name any longer. 
My nails grow back only to have me destroy them once more 
I bite my nails when I’m nervous 
I’m constantly worried I will never exist fully without you 
My heart keeps beating 
I am still here 
I dont love you, I think