i can't even seem to write because my heart is so heavy. it's been weighed down by an anchor girl whispering "i slept with him" as she stabs the knife into my back. i should be used to being a pretty face on the arms of boys who take and take and take but never give, but i always wind up entangled in the webs of boys like that. who speak of my beauty and whisper they love me. i guess i'm just hopelessly a dreamer and a romantic who believed he was different but boys will always be just boys. and i will always jump expecting him to catch me and that. that will be the death of me.