How can I make you believe

It’s not that I want to leave

No, it’s actually quite the opposite

It’s just my feelings aren’t occupant

No happy, no sad, just dull

A roaring sea behind a wall

Threatening to spill

If I allow myself to feel

Churning, moving, never still

Loud, screaming at its own will

I’ve heard it has a name

Dissociation, no longer a game

Trapped outside my body, desperate

Worried, now I know the name for it

Can’t trust myself, all I feel is doubt

I fear everything, one way out

The coward’s solution, they say

But they don’t live this way

Hiding the pain with a mask

Regardless I wish someone would ask

Seeing through my fake facade

Understanding it’s more than odd

Anger coursing through my veins

The knife meant to cut out the pains

I see the spit when you yell

I hear your words trying to tell

“You’re not good enough, just die”

Well if you push me, maybe I’ll fly

Tell me once more, how I don’t matter

Give me that final shove to make me shatter

That one step to the ground floor

Your words that shake me to the core

I try to believe sticks and stones

But it hurts more than broken bones

To live with a broken soul

Maybe wishing I was whole

You think it’s funny, laughing, taunting

I think it’s in my eyes, haunting

Look a little closer and you might see

Everything you’re afraid to be

Empty, Isolated, depressed, I guarantee

All of these things are just me