Obsessive compulsive disorder.

OCD.

It’s often discredited, by people who say things, such as,  “ OMG I’m like, soooo OCD.”

You don’t have it, just because you like to have your things organized.

Trust me.

It’s a voice in your head that will lie to you.

All the time.

It will make you worry about microscopic things.

It will make you count how many times you stir a spoon.

It will make you wash your hands till they crack, and sting.

It will make you doubt your own thoughts.

It will make you check that  door, “Just one last time.”

Doing things over and over again, until they’re, “Just right.”

Even then, it’s only a temporary relief.

Until the cycle starts again.

It will bully you.

It will make you not like the way you are.

It’s not a cute little nickname, to describe a tidy person.

It’s a mental health problem.

I don’t want to carry out my compulsions.

“But I won’t stop thin-

WHERE’S THE NEAREST SINK???”

That’s why they’re called compulsions.

I feel like I can’t stop myself.

The voice, invading my personal space-

My brain.

I don’t want to be this way.

“NO!-

It’s not an adorable quirk!”

Psychiatrist appointments.

Counselor appointments.

Medication.

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10, 11,12,13, 14, 15.”

“Perfect number.”

“Wait, I don’t know if I did it EXACTLY 15 times”

“Well, I have to start over.”

“Why am I like this?!?”

“Please get me out of my head- I don’t like it in here!”

My hands hurt from the excessive washing.

They have rashes all over the tops of them.

They have cracks from the dryness.

STOP DOING THIS TO YOURSELF!!!

Scrub, scrub, scrub.

Must get them clean.

Must wash…

You’re dirty.

YOU MUST GO WASH YOUR HANDS.

Don’t touch that!!!

Are you crazy?!?

…. Maybe…

“Why can’t I be someone else?”

“Will anyone ever love me, like this?”

“Will I die like this?-

...With cracked hands.”

“Die, counting to the perfect number 15-

It’s not a cute adjective.”

It’s a voice that makes you almost cry in a store.

You want to smell the candles-

But can’t touch them.

Since your hands, might have residue on them.

“IF ONLY THEY WERE IN MY HEAD, THEY’D UNDERSTAND!”

... I don’t even understand why I’m this way…

Everyone who has OCD, has a unique voice, that they hear.

Every voice is a bully, though.

An internal bully.

Next time you make light of OCD-

Think about who might be around.

The bully they’re fighting with...

Not every bully is out on the playground.

There’s internal bullies.

Remember that.