I am from family.

from long days spent at home,

my safe place, guarded and untainted.

I am from one half of a whole,

57 minutes apart.

From living and learning with my best friend since birth.

My only friend for the first few years of my life.

I am from homegrown memories.

From late night walks, bitter air numbing my nose.

From family movie nights, and ice cream.

I am from the first day of kindergarten,

hesitant to release my mother's hand.

From letting go, and first steps into new surroundings.

I am from shy, hesitant conversations that led to new friends.

From strong friendships that faded but were never lost.

I am from first comparisons of myself next to everyone else,

when all my first insecurities came trickling in.

From first realizations of my own self doubt,

self doubt that slowly changed the way I saw myself.

I am from diminishing self confidence.

From feeling out of place and unwanted.

From surrounded by friends, but still feeling worn down and alone.

I am from quiet tears shed behind closed doors,

and fake, forced, deceptive smiles.

From hating what I saw in the mirror, and wishing I could change.

From repetition of the same two words, I’m ok, I’m ok. I’m ok.

Hoping that if I said them enough, I could convince myself.

I am from an invisible weight on my shoulders.

From stress that was too much to cope with,

too much to handle on my own.

I am from fractured self worth,

fractures that I could feel spreading, and expanding.

From wanting to tell someone, but being unsure what they would think or how they would react.

I am from finally cracking, unable to handle the pressure.

From opening up, and letting go of what was holding me down.

Now I am from love and support.

From friends and family who are always there, building me up.

From encouraging words and thoughtful advice.

I am from slowly mending.

From gluing the broken pieces of myself back together.

From not fully healed, but still functional.