Being the Strong One

In my aunts' house looking thru my siblings and mom’s pictures. I decide to put music on to help me and express my emotions. I can feel ready to cry since I miss them so much but, I refuse to cry knowing my aunt and cousins are running around the house and can barge in my room at any time. Showing true emotion can be hard for someone like me because letting your family a sign of weakness. Not that weakness is bad but for me showing them my side of weakness makes me feel frail. Personally, I feel like I have to be the strong one in my family. That feeling of having to be the one that makes everyone seem as if everything in life is great.

Family is Home

The feeling of just running away from a place called “home”. Knowing I've sacrificed so much to make my mother proud. Sacrificing everything I have for her just like she did for me. Not having enough energy to wake up in the morning for school because you worked last night and had to stay up late in order to at least have of your assignments done. Then thinking about what you are doing with your life and what’s going to come out of it. Thinking about how life would have been different if you lived with your mom and siblings. Just wondering when you'll be able to see them once again. Sometimes is hard to deal with all these emotions I’m feeling and it can be hard to process all of them. Leaving a huge part of my life behind and leaving them is something that can mess you up emotionally. It was hard because my family were like my best friends. They were always the ones making me laugh and made me happy. Every time I had great news they were the first people I would tell. They made me feel like proud of myself and my accomplishments. Now I just feel worthless.

Life After High School

That feeling in life where you seem so lost and don’t know what’s coming after High School. That feeling I have 24/7 of being the one to be the first to actually go and finish college. The stress about not having my parents financial help for college. Going to college is something I want to do for myself. It’s a goal that I know I want to accomplish. I didn’t sacrifice everything to just not go to college. Writing this essay made me realize that even if I’m lost I will still have my opportunities in my lifetime and only I know if I'm going to take them or not.