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Spectator
I dig my nails into the carpet the covers the stairs
and look into the basement, to where they stand.
Their laughing faces an eternity away.
I was never like them.
I watch the world from the outside.
It’s better that way, I tell myself, even if it’s lonely.
There’s less to lose.
And I’m content just sitting here,
my head against the banister,
rocking slightly, as exhaustion overcomes me.
Bellow they play their game.
The orange glow casts shadows,
turning them into beasts.
And I’m content to simply fall asleep,
the imitation fire flickering above me,
yet no shadow to be seen.
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My poem Spectator is a look into my insecurities and loneliness. Within this poem I describe I how I often linger on edge, away from the rest of the world, watching reality from the outside.
I am currently senior in high school. I have had an extraordinary life, and throughout I have faced with variety of obstacles. I have a myriad of learning disabilities including dyslexia and dysgraphia. I have also experienced a multitude of medical challenges, including a cleft palate, kyphosis, and in my junior year I had to take a leave of absence from school as I had contracted meningitis and a sleep disorder. Thankfully I have been able to recover and am I now fully back to school and able to write again.
While I have been creating stories of most of my life, it wasn’t until middle school that I began to write down my work. Since then I have worked on novels, short stories, and poems. My writings include many different aspects if my life from my medical history, to insecurities, to my sexuality. My writing is my greatest passion and after overcoming so many obstacles in my short life I am channel it into my work.